Today, everyone is Irish.

Far be it from me to frown upon celebrating a holiday that involves good food and lots of beer - even if I'm not of that country or don't even know what the holiday actually celebrates. If drinking Guinness and eating this meal makes me Irish today, so be it!


Being the artsy people that we are, I have a feeling that many of these meals will have themes. Sorry, but we're just a little cheesy that way.


That being said, there was no way I was letting Bill talk me into making corned beef and cabbage for St. Patrick's day. No way, no how. I really don't eat red meat, and I've never been able to stand the taste of cabbage. My sister ate it like candy when we were kids. I had a turkey and cheese sandwich those nights.

(This actually hangs in Bill's kitchen above the fridge. Appropriate, no?)

So, this meal was our compromise. I think I made out pretty well in this deal.

The Meal: Beer-Battered Fish and Chips

The Chips: 6 Russet potatoes

                     1/2 gallon peanut oil

                     Salt

                     Water

You might think this is a lot of potatoes for one meal. You'd be wrong. I promise you will eat every last one of those fries. If not, send me a receipt and I'll reimburse you.

Also, make sure you get peanut oil. If you're going to deep fry, it's the healthier option. It also gets you a better boardwalk-esque flavor to your fries.

The Directions: Put peanut oil in a large pot or dutch oven. Heat to 400 degrees. In a separate pot, bring salted water to a low simmer. Wash potatoes. DO NOT PEEL THEM! Cut into 1/4 inch strips. Place potatoes in simmering water. Do not bring to a boil. 

You don't want to cook the potatoes through in this first step. It's a little bit like blanching, but not quite. You're just getting all of the excess starch out of the potatoes, which gives you a crispy fry.

Drain potatoes. Spread them out and allow them to cool and dry completely. You do NOT want to put wet potatoes into hot oil. That's a great way to take a trip to the Beebe Medical Center.

Once oil is heated, drop potatoes in about three small batches. Make sure to allow to oil to come back up to temperature each time you take a batch out. If you don't, your cooking time will increase with each batch. 

Remove from oil when just slightly golden and allow to drain and cool on a paper towel-lined baking sheet.

Once you have finished this first step and the oil is back up to the correct temperature, drop the fries back in (small batches again), this time allowing them to get brown and crispy. This double-frying technique is really essential. The first fry cooks the potato through, and the second fry gets that unbelievable crunch on the outside that you want.

Sprinkle with salt when hot. Serve doused with malt vinegar. Never, EVER serve boardwalk fries with ketchup. It is unnecessary, and frankly insulting. They don't need it.

The Fish: 1 bottle Guinness

                  2 cups flour

                  2 tsp. granulated garlic

                  2 tsp. salt

                  1 tsp. black pepper

                  2 tbsp. paprika

                  1/8 cup water

                  1 lb. firm white fish (we used cod)

Just a note on the beer batter: Add water as necessary. The consistency should be like a thin pancake batter. Ours ended up just a little on the thick side, so the smaller pieces of fish ended up a little bit heavy.

The Directions: Combine all dry ingredients in a large mixing bowl. Whisk in beer. Add water to reach desired consistency. Coat fish in flour first, then dredge through batter. Deep fry until golden brown on the outside - about 6 minutes for the small pieces you see above.

For the fish, you can either fry them in the same oil after the fries are done (you don't want your fries to taste like fish) or fry them in a separate pot. We chose the latter, and saved the oil from the fries after it cooled to use in the future. Don't save the oil after fish has been cooked in it. GROSS.

And a simple Dipping Sauce: 1/4 cup mayo

                                                     1 tbsp. chopped fresh dill

                                                     1 tsp. lemon juice

                                                     1 tsp. minced garlic

                                                     Salt and pepper, to taste

YUM.

 Turlough, our unofficial mascot of St. Patrick's Day, watches longingly and waits for a potato to fall to the floor. He was also a little bashful about wearing his very fashionable shamrock scarf.

And, of course, dessert. We were at Bill's house, after all.

This Stout Cake comes straight from Smitten Kitchen. That Deb sure knows what she's doing. Yes, it's decadent. But if you're having fried food for dinner, why not just indulge with dessert as well? That's my philosophy, anyway. Make sure to use the bundt pan. We didn't, and it took an inordinate amount of time to cook.

A little tip from Bill: After you butter the pan, dust the pan with cocoa powder instead of flour when making a chocolate cake. It will keep your cake looking extra-chocolatey. Bill also took the liberty of spiking the ganache with some Jameson. Oops. Extra Irish.

I'm going to start with the chips (or fries if you insist on being American today). I made these as close to Thrasher's Boardwalk Fries as I knew how. Thrasher's are the best fries around. If you say otherwise, I. WILL. FIGHT. YOU.